When Did You Heart Go Missing?

Ok, technically, that is the name of a song (the title :P), just for the record. Anyways... what was I planning to talk about? Oh yea... I actually picked that song as the title of this post because today I remembered when MY heart actually went missing... I remember feeling like I was dead... it was sort of weird, I wouldn't feel my heart beat anymore... I really was starting to doubt whether I was truly alive... I remember it... sort of... how I'd wake up every morning and wonder how in the world was I planning to face another day. Even my parent's noticed something was up with me... The ironic part, was that before my heart disappeared from my chest, it was beating at 1000 km/h... The event that sparked it to beat so fast was also the one that managed to "kill" it. I remember it was hard to breathe, it felt as there was this huge whole in my chest that sucked in all the air I was supposed to be breathing in. I had been reading the Twilight series for the first time around that period. I surprised myself at my capacity to read a love story even though inside I was torn by one similar to it. Then I got to New Moon, now... that was a slightly a pain.. I could remember that I perfectly connected with Bella's pain. I came home this afternoon feeling a little weird, the guy I sorta like looked at me with.... cold eyes ñ_n i have no idea WHY he's pissed now, but oh well, that's just him... Besides that, my mom was still sort of freaked out... and that didn't really help. I opened the door, glad that I had the house to myself for a couple of hours, left my bag and my sister's bag in their corresponding places, and flopped into my bed. I felt my heart beating, and it didn't hurt that much to breathe. Then I thought to myself: "you see, it isn't that bad, you can still feel your heart beat", which is what lead to me describing this whole situation
On the other hand... My confirmation was a couple of days ago, and there was this guy there... he completely grabbed my attention O.O it was amazing... It's been a while since a guy has intrigued me that much.... and that's it for now jaja :D i have nothing more to say :D

I never really got it

Wow!! REAL long time since I last posted... around a couple of months, actually. The clock is ticking and suddenly I grow aware of the fact that my days are counted. I had been having the feeling of it nagging at me the in some random "corner" of my brain, but it's until now that I truly feel it's impact. Reality is finally beginning to hit me... I find myself looking at my friends, wondering how they'll feel when they find out I won't be around them for a while. Will it hurt them? Will they miss me?
It pains me to see how they expect me to stick around, it pains me to see the smiles on they're faces when they say: hey :D no problem, we'll be here for you when she's gone :D My teachers are scared with how I'll react when my closest friend here is gone, but I know that either way, my other friends would back me up. But somehow, I feel like i'm committing treason. It's cruel, really, but there's not much I can do about it. It's the price of caring, and being cared for...
I dreamt about returning to my old school yesterday... It was odd, most of the same people... yet it was completely different... It's an odd mix of signals, I don't really get what I'm supposed to do anymore... I try to ignore the fact that I'm leaving, yet at the same time i'm anxious for it... what am I truly supposed to do? *sigh* That's all for now...

Para Est!!! XD Feliz Cumple!!

Est!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feliz cumple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD jeje n_n Este post es para ti n_n como un regalo (-.- xq no puedo estar contigo y hacerte un pastel... o hubiesemos hecho un pastel juntas XD muahaha XD y asi tendria la escusa perfecta para celebrar tu cumpleaños jiji y comeriamos pastel juntas... vaya... yo digo que ese va a ser el plan para el año que viene XD yupee!!! jaja bno...) espero que te agrade XD... Est, tu eres una gran persona n_n y la verdad... siempre te he admirado mucho (ya me imagino!! debiste haber leido eso y pensar algo como: "wah! mel! q pena!! xq dices eso???" y despues de haber leido esta parte XD espero q te estes riendo =P al menos un poco XD jejeje) Tu me has ayudado en muchas cosas... tu siempre me has dicho que soy una persona fuerte n_n pero la verdad n_n en parte, si eso es cierto n_n gran parte ha sido gracias a ti n_n me has apoyado de formas increibles (aunq tu no creas q sea asi XP)... Has soportado mis momentos extraños... y me has escuchado cuando en serio necesitaba alguien que lo hiciera n_n me haces reir, y vamos al mall cuando podemos y huimos del stalker malvado que al parecer tiene camara jajajajajaja (te recuerdas??? fue cuando fuimos al terra con indhi XD) y tu dijiste que en cualquier caso tu usabas tu Jutsu para espantarlo, los muchos dibujos de manga que me has regalado (jiji XD tengo a la gran mayoria pegados en mi pared XD muahahaha XD todo el mundo que ha venido a mi casa dice que dibujas increible XD normalmente, termina siendo algo como: "VAYA!!!!!!!!! Q COOL!!!!!!!! tu dibujaste eso??? (solo tengo dos dibujos mios en mi pared jajaja XD)" yo: "no XD solo estos dos(señalo), los demas lo hizo una de mis mejores amigas :D Estefania XD!!" (ya me imagino, de nuevo, otro momento de: "wah!!!!!!! q pena!!!!!! mel X3 quita mis dibujos de tu pared!!!!" pero... no los voy a quitar XD son demasiado geniales XD jiji)) las GENIALES historias (yo sigo pensando que mi historia no se compara a NINGUNA de las tuyas... pero... tu dices lo contrario... jaja XD ni modo...) la gran sorpresa que nos dimos cuando el chico "misterioso" (wah! la palabra de est XD "q misterioso..." jajajaja XD) que conocia del Sion resultó ser tu hermano jajajaja, el conocer a randall y todos los momentos "misteriosos y extraños (XD!)" que resultaron de eso... En fin n_n todo el tiempo que te he conocido ha sido lleno de momentos increiblemente lindos y graciosos XD y muy apreciados n_n. Vaya... es un tanto extraño pensarlo jaja ñ_n para mi... me da la impression de haberte conocido toda la vida... aunque en realidad solo te conozco desde que tengo 10 años... q x alguna razon ahora parece una eternidad O.O jajaja XD pero igual XD no es tanto... solo... 5 años no??? vaya ñ_n si parece bastante XD pero no importa XD fueon 5 años geniales contigo XD. Recuerdo la vez que fanny me dijo que ella juraba que tu y yo solo ibamos a referirnos como "ah, la prima de fanny" y "ah, la mejor amiga de fanny" y que resulto siendo completamente lo contrario a lo que ella se imaginaba n_n terminamos convirtiendonos en grandes amigas (o... almenos eso pienso yo! o0 (la cara de camel!!!). Wah! Eso me recuerda, la vez que hablamos con camel x un recording jajajaja y tu, indhi y yop dijimos en choro: "jojooooojo jajajajajajajajajaja" XD dem bueno!!!!! En fin n_n est, yo quiero que tu sepas que yo te aprecio mucho n_n como siempre he dicho n_n tu fuiste mi verdadera primer mejor amiga n_n y haberte conocido ha sido una de las mejores cosas que han pasado en mi vida... tqmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y... el gran punto de todo lo que he escrito... (me pregunto... habre escrito mucho? o muy poco!? wah @.@) es que eres genial XD y te mereces de lo mejor XD x lo cual n_n te deseo el MEJOR cumpleaños del mundooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y bno.. ya.. mejor termino XD disfruta mucho este dia.. sip????

-Mel

Reforma!

Ohayo Minna!!!!!!! Or anybody... je =P... bno en fin XD he cambiado el look del blog... drasticamente... jaja XD Pero la verdad creo que se ve genial n_n *Squeels in excitement* Me costo mucho entender como se cambiaba todo en realidad... todo empezo con la "Gran Busqueda" (jaja) de widgets para el blog (que explica el chat y el contador de visitas que se encuentran mas abajo al lado izquierdo de la pagina) pero despues me di cuenta que talvez podia cambiar el template a uno mil veces mas genial XD... Al fin, despues de buscar en various sites logre encontrar el que me gustaba, el cual estoy usando ahora XD tuve q volver a poner de vuelta todos los extras -.- y eso tomo una cantidad de tiempo -.- pero... aunque me dio pereza... dio un excelente resultado XD o almenos eso creo yo XD Tiene dos de mis colores favoritos, Azul y Negro. Hm.. que mas... voy a ver si agrego mas cosas que encuentre por ahi XD para hacer el blog mas entretenido.. ;) deseanme suerte!

Staring off the Rooftop

As I stare off the rooftop, the wind fluttering my hair and permitting my imagination fly, I take in the colors of the sky. The rooftop, so free from the walls that constantly surround our lives, letting the colors penetrate its surroundings. Looking farther and farther away from the reality that envelopes me, looking at the lives of the people who seem so distant, so unreal in my eyes... Will we ever reach what we seek? Is there really enough hope, enough desire and strength, to reach that goal? Slowly cutting the air and sitting on the floor, watching the world develop in front of me like a movie. No longer do I find myself the center of the film, now merely an observer that smiles and cries as the events unfold. Lying down softly and slowly onto the floor on the rooftop, feeling the wind tinkle the soft pores of my skin, I stare up and ahead to infinity, to a place that one may only picture in dreams. The sky hides many wonders, now tainted with the colors of orange red and pink, decorating itself and demonstrating the end of the afternoon... Heh.. So many random thoughts.. But what can I say, these are only mere meditations coming from staring off a Rooftop..

New Start?

Truthfully... I don't know what to say, or what to do... If one could easily grab the heart in one's hands and ask it: "tell me, am I supposed to do something?", or maybe be able to see it's real intentions... maybe life would be easier to deal with... First time I saw him, i didn't really give him much thought. Second time i saw him, i freaked out and pretty much ignored him... the third time i saw him i simply stared at him... the fourth time was just like the third time... the fifth time I actually got to talk to him... he came to talk to me XD it felt like life was wonderful... i kept on thinking: "he could've chosen anybody else, yet he choose me XD", plus, he was now sitting next to me in class... could life be more perfect? sixth time, he talked to me again... he asked a classmate what i had told him(my classmate)... i was fascinated... he seemed to care at least a little of what i thought or said... but... maybe they're all just lame excuses? Truthfully, having crushes is far more amusing than falling in love... you feel stupid all the time, you feel like laughing at yourself by ur sudden surges of happiness by merely catching a glimpse of the person your interested in... the carefree-ness of it all is simply marvelous... Yet the desire of returning, or no, i'm mistaken, the desire of creating a perfect world, an even more perfect world than before, is simply breathtaking and intriguing.... Will it work? I hope it will.... It's all so different now... i guess the new start is really coming along =P

Gambate minna!!!

Feliz Año Nuevo a todos!!!!!!!!! Aunque ha pasado bastante tiempo desde el primero de este mes, aun sigue siendo enero, aun sigue siendo el inicio de un nuevo año! Debo admitir que este año que se encuentra en frente de mi se ve muy prometedor, aunque se que van a venir muchos retos, para mi, se ha vuelto el comienzo de una nueva historia! Yo estaba esperando la llegada del final de la historia de la cual formaba hace poco. Talvez deberia explicar un poco mejor. Esta "historia" (como he decidido llamarla) hace bastante me di cuenta que era su tiempo. Pero tristemente, por alguna razon extraña, continuo en contra del ritmo de la corriente. Me dolia tener que seguir formando de ella, soñando constantemente con el día que llegaria a su fin. Y ese día ya llego! Las palabra: "Fin." ha sido escrita en manuescrita hermosa con un color dorado. Muchos se podrian preguntar, que exactamente es lo emocionante de un final? La verdad... un final es triste, eso si, lo admito, pero siempre le sigue un nuevo principio! Es como el dicho de las puertas: "Cuando una puerta se cierra, miles mas se abren" Entonces, estoy esperando a la puerta abierta que me dará un nuevo rumbo, una nueva meta, una nueva historia para poder escribir. La verdad, no podria haber nada mejor para el año nuevo que un nuevo comienzo, no es asi?? Pero al final, todo lo que puedo decir para todos en este año es: Gambate minna!!!!!!! Vamos a poder sobrevivir otro año con muchas alegrias y tristezas n_n pero de igual forma, no importa que enfrentemos, sigamos adelante juntos XD! Y bno n_n esto es todo para el día de hoy!

"Fairy Tale Endings don't last, reality eventually will catch up with them"