Wow!! REAL long time since I last posted... around a couple of months, actually. The clock is ticking and suddenly I grow aware of the fact that my days are counted. I had been having the feeling of it nagging at me the in some random "corner" of my brain, but it's until now that I truly feel it's impact. Reality is finally beginning to hit me... I find myself looking at my friends, wondering how they'll feel when they find out I won't be around them for a while. Will it hurt them? Will they miss me?
It pains me to see how they expect me to stick around, it pains me to see the smiles on they're faces when they say: hey :D no problem, we'll be here for you when she's gone :D My teachers are scared with how I'll react when my closest friend here is gone, but I know that either way, my other friends would back me up. But somehow, I feel like i'm committing treason. It's cruel, really, but there's not much I can do about it. It's the price of caring, and being cared for...
I dreamt about returning to my old school yesterday... It was odd, most of the same people... yet it was completely different... It's an odd mix of signals, I don't really get what I'm supposed to do anymore... I try to ignore the fact that I'm leaving, yet at the same time i'm anxious for it... what am I truly supposed to do? *sigh* That's all for now...
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